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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:33 am 
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Location: NH
ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

more next week :hello:


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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 6:51 am 
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Location: "Southern" New York
:ac41[1]: Love the first one!!! :hysterical:

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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 7:22 am 
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:beerchug:

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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 8:46 am 
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Location: Ontario
Thanks for my morning chuckle.

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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill.


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PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2017 8:12 am 
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Location: NH
ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

:hello:


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PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2017 10:19 am 
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Nice.


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PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2017 4:59 pm 
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especially love that last one. I'm off to the beach! :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:37 pm 
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Location: NH
ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr
:smash[1]:


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 6:27 am 
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LOL!! Love these!! :ac41[1]: :hysterical:

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 8:08 am 
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These are great, but what's even better is that it's only three weeks to MB.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 5:43 pm 
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LOL! Thanks for sharing. :wav:

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 12:19 pm 
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A little early :twisted:
You're An EXTREME Redneck When...

1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9 Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

And in closing....

Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"

High School Graduation

A student played high school football. He was a
great running back, but a really poor student.
At graduation, he didn't have enough credits. But he was a
great football star and the students held a rally and
demanded the principal give him a diploma anyway. They were
so insistent that the principal agreed if Darryl could
answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.

The one question test was held in the auditorium and all the
students packed the place. It was standing room
only. The principal was on the stage
and told him to come up. The principal had the diploma in
his hand and said, "Darryl, if you can answer this
question correctly I'll give you your diploma." He
said he was ready and the principal asked him the
question.
"Darryl," he said,
"How much is three times seven?" He looked
up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, just
pondering the question. The other students began chanting,
"Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!"

Then he held up his hand and the
auditorium became silent. He said, "I think
I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one."

A hush fell over the auditorium and all the other students
began another chant. "Give him another chance!
Give him another chance!"

HOW I LOST MY TEETH

I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a
butt-ugly, big old heifer (a girl) came up behind me,and slapped me on the butt.
She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number.”

I looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen?”

She said,“I sure do.”

I said, “ Well, you better get back in it before the farmer notices you’re missing.”

My dental surgery is on Monday.

The Preacher

I have always questioned if this man who came to our neighborhood frequently was really a preacher since that’s what everyone called him but he had no church.

When I heard he would be a guest preacher at a Las Vegas
Church, I decided to check him out in person and see what it was all about.

I sat down and he came up to me - I don't know why, maybe it was
because I was the only new person in the Church.

He laid his hands on my hand and said: "By the will of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today."

I told him I was not paralyzed. He came back and laid his hands on me again, and repeated the same thing.

Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.

After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold, my f***ing car had been stolen! What happens in Las Vegas

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was somebody really special."

Cabbie: "Oh hell, there's more! He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with. And he could fix anything---. Not like me - I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished, too. He was the perfect man! I never knew him to make a mistake! No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his wife."

And to count down the days next week…….

MONDAY
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that

her daughter was having sex...

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the

family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hugher mother, saying,

'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'
TUESDAY
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, 'Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon.

Damned good!'

The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'

The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

The preacher said, 'No shit?'



WEDNESDAY
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed, 'for me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'
THURSDAY
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her
92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.
‘Your Honor,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw,
he could fly.'

FRIDAY
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa .

'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.'
SATURDAY
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, ‘Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age,' Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'
SUNDAY
Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.

'These,' she explained, 'are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!'


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 10:48 am 
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LOL! :wav:

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 5:54 pm 
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love love love!!!! :beerchug:


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 12:22 pm 
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Location: NH
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF: (or work here)


You think if someone is nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town

The public transportation system is known as the "T" and you'd rather drive in
bumper to bumper traffic for 4 hours to get to Boston than be caught dead on the "Orange Line"

You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house

There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house and that
is how you give directions

If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names

53 degrees is "on the warm side"

You've walked to Brigham's for an ice cream cone "to go" in the snow

You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the"Boston Accent" on TV

You call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies"

A water fountain is called a bubbler. Say it " bubbla".

You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes

You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, Peabody,
Scituate, Chatham, and Leominster

You know what they sell at a "packie"

You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round

Paranoia sets in when you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS

You've pulled out of a side street and used your car
to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left

You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop

You know what a "regular coffee" is!

You can navigate a rotary without a problem

You use the words "wicked" "pissa" and "good" in the same sentence

You know what a frappe is

Saint Patrick's Day is your second favorite holiday

You drink tonic and would never consider using it on your hair

You never say "Cape Cod" you say "The Cape"

You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation at least once,
in elementary school, but never to Bunker Hill

You know the Mass Pike and 495 create some sort of strange weather dividing line

You actually get all these jokes and pass them on!


I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth,
I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.
I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.
There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in South Georgia recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'Ain't got no license. Y'all must understand, these are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yes sir. Every night, I take them down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these ice chests here and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth, Mr. Government Man.. I'll show you. It really works.'

'O. K.', said the warden 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

'Well, what?', says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH', replied the warden!

'What fish?', replied the redneck.
........

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north, did ya?
Heart health risk

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to an other.
Male..... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male ... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female . . . A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest_expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male ... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

It's Hell to be Old


OLD people have problems that you haven't
Even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
Exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
This jar home and bring back a semen sample
Tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared
At the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
Which was as clean and empty as on the
Previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man
Explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried
With my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
With my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
Her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
Then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'She even called up Arleen, the lady next door
And she tried too, first with both hands, then an
Armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
Her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your
Neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get
The jar open.

Age By.....Trip to Wal-Mart....


You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house

mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living

room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or

paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the

outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a

stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you

realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help

complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your

hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.

Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your

favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet

some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went

to school with the pretty girl running the register.



In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.

Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much

else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in

the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite

cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the

register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.



In your 40's:


Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough

to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on

different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of

Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any

of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and

do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing

running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird

thinking she is spicy.



In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your

hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to

get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror

and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes

you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she

sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you

remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar

and it says, "I Got Worms."



In your 60's:


Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the

dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you

were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing

hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the

register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so

you are not sure.


In your 70's:


Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they

have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog

crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at

you because you remind her of her grandfather.



In your 80's:


Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now

you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and

wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.

Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You

went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Maryland Crabs


A man boarded an airplane in Baltimore with a box of
frozen crabs and asked a blonde, female crew member to
take care of the box for him. She took the box and promised
to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He pointedly advised her that he was holding her personally
responsible for the crabs staying frozen, mentioned that he
was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would
happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to
announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave
me the crabs in Baltimore, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up , so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:
1. Men never learn.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most men think!

How Fights Start

My wife sat down on the sofa next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing at 40 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and learned that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started....

******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started....

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started....

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started....

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were..
>
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>

> And last, but not least:
>
> 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One ofthe clerks passed out.

ImageSnagit Capture by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr


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